I didn't shave. On purpose
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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