Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
