But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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