Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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