Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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