I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
