anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
