i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
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