Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
