We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Congratulations! We have a period
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