So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
