so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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