He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
