I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
i think i have herpe
just one?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
just found out that she named her cat after me.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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