I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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