But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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