I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
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You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
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Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.