i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
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I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.