apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
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She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
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our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said