I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.