So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
