I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
