we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
