There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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