I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
