i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
