im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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