i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
