clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize