I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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