Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
It's shark week go big or go home
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
