Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
