i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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