y did u give ur computer a hand job?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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