Apparently you make a good broom.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
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