what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
He has the fingertips of a God
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