It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
