dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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