I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
