Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
i think my tv is drunk
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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