What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
