I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
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