watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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