yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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