He told me they were just razor bumps!
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
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