the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
