Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
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his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
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Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
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