Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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