How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
