so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I want to be your penis for a week.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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