she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize