drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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