drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
