Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
