Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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