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Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Randomize
