that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
