It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
