i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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