He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
