THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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