dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
