i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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