wakey wakey hands off snakey
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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