it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
