she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
