Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
