I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
